Why Desires Are Good For You
Just wanted to share a mantra or motto or whatever you like to call it that I have been living with for the past couple of years. I accidentally noticed this mantra somewhere online, and it resonated with me so much: ‘Life isn’t about finding myself – it is about creating myself’. After this moment of discovery, it became my daily mantra.
I have had ideas of how I would like to improve the world, and the ways I would like to be an active agent in making society better and healthier. I wanted to inspire more simplicity, ways of healing relationships to the self, between people, and as a community as a whole. I have clearly seen ways of how I can actually do it: Partner Yoga, Ecstatic Dance, Thai Yoga Massage, day-to-day connecting, playing, being kind and simple, and making daily, moment-to-moment choices with my purest and highest intentions.
So these were my desires, and I somewhat half-heartedly lived them, slipping into the moments of doubting if I was this kind, simple, and open human-being. ‘Life isn’t about finding myself – it is about creating myself’ somewhat shook me and woke me up to the fact that I am the person responsible for making my desires reality, and that there won’t come a day, when after one long meditation of focusing on my navel, I will somewhat feel that I totally ‘found’ myself, feeling all benevolently empowered. In other words, I experienced a metaphorical kick in my yogini bum to gather my courage and pursue my dreams.
So what is the difference between ‘finding yourself’ and ‘creating yourself’?
‘Finding Yourself’ is a passive focus, almost implying an ‘outside-of-yourself’ focus with no responsibility for what one is looking to find. Whereas ‘creating yourself’ grants the receiver with loads of responsibility and allows you to be active in the pursuit and focused on a goal.
Some spiritual traditions warn us off from our desires, saying that they are the cause of suffering. I sense that there is some oversimplification with what’s being said by these rich spiritual traditions. I think that we can create suffering in our lives in pretty much two ways. One is by not pursuing your dreams at all and the other is when you are inclined to have an exact picture of the way in which your desires and dreams should manifest. So you need to come to terms with the fact that you don’t have any control of when and in what way your dreams are going to manifest. Remember, your dream is in your imagination, your head and your heart, and when you are putting it out to the world, it interacts with the world, with people around you, infusing your dream with other people’s dreams and desires. So work honestly towards your desires on a daily basis, but chill in your head, be flexible in your mind, as your dream manifestation will more than likely actualize in ways you couldn’t imagine before.
Here are five very simple ways of how you can create your best-self on a daily basis:
- First of all, you need to know what your desires and dreams are. If you are in doubt, write a list of things that you enjoy doing most. The more precise – the better! Maybe you like creating these amazing recipes, perhaps dancing, or connecting to people, or helping to make things happen to others? I don’t know – you tell me!
- Now that you know what you want more of in your life, think of practical ways of doing more of what you love doing most. So make a list of vows to your best-self and start creating a new you on a daily basis and… stick to it!
- Know what your dreams and desires are good for. You know they are good for YOU, but it is worth contemplating your desire’s positive influence on the world, and on people around you. First of all, it will feed your altruistic nature and calm your illusion of selfishness down. But most of all, you will have a tool for personal empowerment and inspiration, and will be able to lean into this when you find things tricky – and believe-you-me, you WILL find yourself wandering into the lands of self-doubt and resistance in infinite forms, such as weariness, sleepiness and distractions.
- Stay inspired on a daily basis. Perhaps it is a good idea to write this mantra ‘Life isn’t about finding myself, it’s about creating myself’ on your computer screen or on the wall in your bedroom, so you can constantly remind yourself of your never-ending commitment to creating your very best-self. Remember the people, activities and things that inspire you. Maybe a beautiful video, or singing your favourite song, or meeting up with your best friend. Make a habit of rewarding yourself with the atmosphere that supports your inspiration.
- Don’t forget to balance between being too hard and too soft on yourself. You are your own guru and the best person to know when you are overdoing things or when you are postponing. It is good to feed your dream daily, but it is equally important to sit back and look into the ‘bigger picture’; at what has been done and what you have created already, then perhaps adjusting your next step with the emerging situation accordingly.
So here it is – my humble sharing of how this simple daily mantra influences my every-day and moment-to-moment choices, helping me to stay focused on my spirited path. Hope it supports your journey in some way or another, and perhaps inspires you to share your own personal mottos with me or others?
Until the next open sharing!
With big love